


kiss me (like your ex is in the room)

by rebeccaofsbfarm



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, M/M, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Smut, why am i trying to come up with tags all you need to know is that it's fake dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:42:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccaofsbfarm/pseuds/rebeccaofsbfarm
Summary: After Buck's meeting with Abby, she asks if he'd be up to letting her and Sam treat him to dinner. He means to decline, but Eddie takes matters into his own hands.orEddie Diaz gets drunk and protective and signs up for a fake double date to get back at his friend's ex.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Abby Clark & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 545





	kiss me (like your ex is in the room)

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I wrote a huge part of this right as we went on break, and I'm finishing it just a hair before the start of the new season. Hopefully the writers don't break our hearts, but in case they do, have some Buddie fake dating.
> 
> Title is from X by the Jonas Brothers, and the line inspired the whole fic. Enjoy.

Buck has been driving in circles for hours, going over his conversation with Abby, wondering why it feels unfinished. Finally, he decides to pull over, and it’s only then that he realizes his autopilot has taken him somewhere other than his own place. Eddie’s house looks sleepy in the moonlight, but he walks up to the door anyway. He rings the doorbell.

“Jesus, Buck, you know you can just walk in,” Eddie admonishes him. He opens the storm door without stopping, then heads back into the kitchen to finish packing Chris’s lunch for the next day.

“Shit, Chris is asleep, isn’t he?” Buck realizes, for the first time guessing what time it must be. He’d lost track while he was driving around.

“Considering it’s 11 p.m. on a school night? Yeah, Chris is asleep,” Eddie says, he licks peanut butter off the side of his thumb, rolling his eyes as he zips up the lunch bag and tosses it in the fridge. “What kind of father do you think I am?”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was. I can go if you’re tired,” but his voice drifts hopefully, and Eddie can tell he has something he wants to get off his chest. He grabs two beers from the fridge and gestures toward the living room with the neck of the bottle.

“How’d your talk with Abby go?” he asks, because there is nothing they don’t know about each other. Eddie had already expressed concerns about Buck meeting Abby on her terms. “Did you get what you were looking for?”

Buck chuckles sickly, “Well that depends. I guess the voice in my head blamed me for making her leave. For not being good enough to keep her here. And if anything, I think she sort of reinforced that, so in a way, yes?”

Eddie is scowling, and Buck is glad that for once he knows he’s not on the receiving end. He wipes his palm across his mouth, trying to plan out his words carefully.

“What did she  _ actually _ say, Buck?” he asks, then adds gently. “You don’t exactly have a history of being kind to yourself.”

Buck shrugs, and it hurts him to repeat it out loud, makes it real as the words roll over in his mouth, “That I was too much work. That being here, being with me, made her lose herself. And that if she had come back, she would have lost herself again.”

“Wow. That’s…worse,” Eddie says quietly, and Buck nods in a way that says,  _ I told you _ . He takes a long drag of his beer and realizes that it’s already empty. He glances at Eddie for permission, then gets up to get another.

“I thought I was taking care of her,” Buck explains as he sits back down. “I mean she took care of me too, but I thought that was just how relationships worked. Not that I’d ever really been in one before.”

“It’s how they’re supposed to,” Eddie adds, taking a second beer from Buck. “It used to be like that with Shannon. And then it, well, it wasn’t.”

Buck cringes, because it’s hard to compete with Eddie’s dead wife. He’s not sure if his lack of closure with Abby could ever compare with Shannon dying in Eddie’s arms.

Eddie seems to see the guilt pass over his face and stops him, “Buck, don’t do your thing.”

“What thing?” Buck hedges, his voice pitching guiltily.

“The thing where you beat yourself about having feelings because other people also have feelings,” Eddie shrugs, taking another drink from his beer. “The Shannon thing sucked,” which is an understatement, “But that doesn’t mean Abby blaming you for her leaving doesn’t also suck. It  _ really  _ sucks.”

“Thank you,” Buck says quietly.

“I mean, maybe you’ll listen to me over that voice in your head occasionally,” Eddie smirks. “I can get pretty loud.”

Buck is buzzed, and immediately his mind slips into well-worn patterns, thinking of the usual implications of  _ loud _ , and when his eyes slide over to Eddie, he seems to be thinking the same, chuckling in his usual warm way, and not excusing or correcting himself. 

Buck’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he reaches for it, seeing the text on his screen, before dropping it face down on the coffee table.

“What was that?” Eddie asks, seeing the frustration pass over Buck’s face.

“ _ They _ want to buy me dinner,” Buck sighs. “For saving Sam’s life, I guess?”

“Well that sounds like a set up,” Eddie scoffs. “What does she want? To feel like leaving was okay? Does she want your blessing?”

Buck finishes his second beer, then mutters against the bottle, “Are we still talking about Abby?”

This time the glare is directed at him, but some of the fire behind it is gone.

“Hey, focus on your baggage,” Eddie teases him. “Mine can wait.”

Buck shrugs, “I’m not going to go. I mean, it’s not exactly fair, them ganging up on me like that. Can you imagine how awkward that dinner would be?”

“You’re right, she just wants to make herself feel better. This isn’t about you,” Eddie’s words have started to slur. “And it should be Buck. It should be about you. You got  _ left _ .”

“Thanks buddy,” he chuckles, but Eddie’s conviction amuses him. “You want one more?”

“Yeah, the couch is yours,” Eddie says, and shoos him toward the kitchen to grab two more beers. While in the kitchen he scavenges for the Oreos he knows Eddie has hidden, though from him or Chris he’s not sure.

When he comes back, Eddie is glancing at Buck’s phone, and quickly provides, “Sorry, I was checking the time. I have to be up to get Chris to school in the morning.”

“Should I put this back?” Buck asks, but Eddie takes the bottle and pats the seat next to him. “Guess not.”

“Buck, I want to tell you something. You are the most generous, loving person I know, and I don’t know what Abby saw, but I  _ see _ you,” he says, with drunken conviction, and Buck wishes he could process anything this emotional after three beers, but he can’t, so he just nods as if he does. Eddie grabs his shoulder, forcing Buck to look directly at him, and his dark eyes are wet with emotion, which is likely the effect of three beers in a short time. He sits like that for a long moment, before clapping his hand on Buck’s shoulder.

“I’ll get you some pillows,” he says, breaking whatever  _ that _ was to head to the hall closet. He returns with pillows, a blanket, and a pair of sweats and tosses them on the couch. He hesitates for a moment, and then he wraps his arms around Buck in a forceful embrace. Silently, he extricates himself and heads to bed.

Buck feels the weight of the day hit him all at once, and he leaves his clothes pooled next to the couch, dragging on the sweats and curling into Eddie’s couch. He’s asleep before he has a chance to overthink, which is a welcome change.

* * *

The next morning, Eddie walks sleepily toward the coffee maker and blindly starts it. It’s not a full hangover, but his mouth certainly feels fuzzy and the morning sunshine seems a little brighter than usual. He pokes his head out of the kitchen, and sees that Buck is still asleep, his muscled back exposed, turned into the back of the couch.

When the coffee is finished, he prepares a cup the way Buck likes it, then walks out, nudging his shoulder and setting the mug on the coffee table. It’s always easier to face the morning routine when everyone above the age of maturity has coffee.

Buck squints at him, and his hair is mussed from sleep. Eddie feels a jolt of familiarity and fondness and tries not to think too much about it, leaving Buck to finish waking up as he wanders down the hallway to get Chris up.

When he returns, Buck is pulling his clothes on, but his gaze is on the screen of his phone, “Eddie, how drunk were we last night?”

Eddie remembers being buzzed, but not necessarily drunk. He shrugs, “Why do you ask?”

“Because generally I don’t text my exes unless I am  _ trashed _ , and yet,” he turns the phone so Eddie can see the screen. It’s a text from Abby setting a time and place for their dinner. All of a sudden, it comes back to him.

Eddie grimaces, “That’s, uh, because you didn’t send it. I did.”

“ **Abby, I think it would be great to catch up. Would it be okay for me to bring someone for you to meet? Actually, you already met him.** **_My boyfriend, Eddie_ ** ,” Buck reads out loud, enunciating every word as Eddie gets redder and redder. “Boyfriend?”

“I mean she knew you were into guys too, right?” Eddie asks, remaining purposefully dense. He calls out to his son to change the subject, “Christopher, I better hear you brushing your teeth in the next two minutes, hear me?”

“Eddie, what the hell,” Buck grumbles. Eddie can tell he is recalling the moment the night before when he caught Eddie with his phone, and he had quickly provided an excuse.

“Listen, if she doesn’t want to give you a reasonable explanation for ghosting you, at the very least you can show her that you’ve moved on and you don’t need her pity,” Eddie explains. “And last I checked you don’t have anyone waiting in the wings. I figured I’m the closest thing you have. I can pull off one date. Besides, I’m a catch.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Buck laughs, but he seems introspective. He’s rereading the reservation, thinking. “Admit you’re not just doing this for me. This is another Shannon thing, isn’t it?”

“Okay  _ Frank _ , maybe it’s not  _ not _ a Shannon thing,” Eddie admits. “But it’s also a fuck-that-bitch-she-hurt-my-friend thing.”

“Language, Dad,” Christopher reminds him, emerging from his room dressed. Buck snorts, because usually he’s the one that gets called out for swearing. Eddie apologizes, before heading into the kitchen to pour cereal for them. “Hey Buck, I didn’t know you were here! Did you and dad have a sleepover?”

“Sure did, bud,” Buck says, grabbing the milk from the fridge and sliding it across the breakfast table.

Chris squints his eyes in an attempt at a glare, “Dad always tells me no sleepovers on school nights.”

“Well when you pay the bills you can break the rules buddy,” Eddie reminds him, dropping a spoon into his bowl. “Now eat. Don’t want to be late.”

* * *

Eddie taps his razor on the edge of the sink, wiping the remnants of shaving cream off his jaw with a washcloth, before patting on aftershave. He grabs the hair dryer, takes a few minutes to dry out his hair, then slicks it back, checking it, and then double checking it in the mirror. After a moment of hesitation, he dabs cologne on his throat, not that anyone will be close enough to get a whiff. He crosses the hallway in his towel, then debates between the two shirts he has laid out on the bed. Shannon had made fun of him for having his one date shirt, so he’d bought a second one. Unfortunately, he still likes the original better.

He picks it up, a charcoal gray button-up, and buttons it to the base of his throat before he realizes how uptight he looks and undoes a button. Abuela had insisted on ironing his good pants, so he takes them off the hanger, feeling the starch as he pulls them on. He takes a look in the mirror, then decides he’s taking himself far too seriously, so he rolls his sleeves up to his forearms.

“You look  _ sharp _ dad,” Christopher says from the table where Carla is helping with his homework. Carla offered to stay, and while he hadn’t told her why, he was sure she knew more than she let on. After all, she was in contact with three people at this dinner. It was unlikely one of them hadn’t mentioned it to her.

“Got a hot date?” she asks, and Eddie prickles under her knowing stare.

“Thanks again Carla,” he answers, not a confirmation or a denial. He tousles Chris’s hair and kisses his cheek reminding him to be good, before grabbing his keys and heading for the door. He texts Buck that he’s on his way and gets a winking emoji in response before he starts the car.

When he pulls up to Buck’s building, he reaches for his phone to text him that he’s here, but before he can hit send he sees Buck locking the door behind him. He’s wearing a shirt the color of his eyes, and it makes them stand out, almost as noticeable as the curve of his biceps, which are straining against the fabric of his shirt. No shirt is a match for Evan Buckley’s biceps, he realizes.

He climbs into the cab of the truck, and Eddie sees that he got a haircut since the last time he saw him. For a moment, he thinks that it’s to impress him on their date, and then he remembers the purpose of the date and how it isn’t really a date at all, and he tries not to be grumbly about it. This was his idea after all.

Buck leans across the divide between the seats, affectionately balancing himself against Eddie’s bicep and leaning into his space. He ducks his face close to Eddie’s, tucking into the space below his ear, “Mm, you smell good. Sandalwood?”

“And cedar, I think,” Eddie murmurs, acutely aware that he can feel Buck’s breath hot against his throat and it makes it hard to swallow. Thankfully, Buck settles back into his seat, buckling his seatbelt, and Eddie feels more secure knowing that the strap will keep him from leaning over again.

He starts to drive to the restaurant, and Buck is quiet, his fingers tapping on his knee anxiously, “Hey thanks again for doing this.”

“This thing I’m  _ making _ you do?” Eddie reminds him. “Is that what you mean?”

“Fair,” Buck admits. His eyes stall on Eddie’s face, then slowly, deliberately his eyes travel down Eddie’s chest, “But you didn’t have to look so good doing it.”

Instantaneously, Eddie remembers, word-for-word, a confusing conversation they’d had a few months ago. 

_ They’ve been drinking, empty bottles strewn across the coffee table, and Buck is telling him stories of his exploits, of which getting fired for borrowing the ladder truck was probably the worst. Eddie doesn’t have much to contribute. He’d gotten married young. He could count his conquests with one hand. The only thing he had on Buck was that, to his knowledge, Buck had never knocked anyone up. Comparatively, Buck had so much more  _ experience _. _

_ “Jesus, Casanova. Is there anything you haven’t done?” Eddie asks, teasing him. Buck smiles around the neck of his beer, cautious, before leaning forward, settling his hands against his knees. _

_ “Eddie,” he asks, his expression guarded, “You do know I’m bisexual? Don’t you?” _

_ Eddie did  _ not _ know that. But when he thinks it over, it tallies with what he knows of Buck. His casual affection, his flirtation. He realizes he’s about to ask the token straight guy question, and he tries to stop himself, but he’s been drinking and it slips out anyway. _

_ “Do you think I’m attractive?” Eddie asks. _

_ Buck rolls his eyes, settling back into the couch, “Eddie,  _ everyone _ finds you attractive. Henrietta, who is a card-carrying  _ lesbian _ , finds you attractive.” _

_ “You know what I mean Buck,” he teases, nudging him playfully. “Am I  _ your _ type? Are  _ you _ attracted to me?” _

_ Buck opens his mouth to answer, but then flushes guiltily, “It’s been so long, I mean, I don’t even know if I have a type.” _

_ “Then answer the other question,” Eddie murmurs, and Buck looks up. Eddie realizes that he’s scooted closer to him, is leaning toward him, and he doesn’t know why, because Buck may be bisexual, but he isn’t. Or he wasn’t. He isn’t. _

_ “Daddy, can I have a glass of water?” Christopher wobbles in sleepily and they jump apart, cutting the moment short. _

_ When Eddie returns to the couch after tucking his son back into bed, Buck has also switched to water and Eddie is afraid to repeat his question, unsure of what answer he was hoping for. _

“Have you eaten here before?” Eddie asks as they pull into the restaurant parking lot, and Buck combs a hand through his hair nervously, which is…odd.

“Once,” Buck admits, and it’s sort of evasive for a simple question. Buck is full on refusing to look at him.

“Well?” Eddie asks, steering them into a parking spot. “Was the food good?”

“Can’t remember if I ate,” Buck answers, his voice clipped. He must be more nervous about seeing Abby again then he had let on earlier, because he’s acting strange. “But it’s Italian. You like Italian, right?”

Eddie watches him dubiously from the corner of his eye, and before he has the chance to ask, Buck is out of the car and waiting for him impatiently near the bumper. When Eddie reaches him, he immediately starts walking toward the restaurant, taking long strides so Eddie has to double time to keep up.

Buck makes it to the host stand first, but as he gives the name on the reservation, he looks over the shoulder of the hostess and sees Sam half-stand to wave them over. Abby looks a little reserved and reminiscent if Eddie can gauge her correctly, and she stands, giving Buck a very European double-cheek kiss and him an awkward handshake.

Eddie pulls out the seat across from Sam and motions for Buck to sit down, which causes him to stall with surprise. What Buck doesn’t realize is that in the moment before they were seated, he had prepared himself for battle, ready to defend Buck with all the tools in his armory. He takes his seat across from Abby, a rueful smile slipping onto his face.

Casually, he lets his hand settle at Buck’s shoulder, his thumb caressing the place where arm meets shoulder blade, and he feels Buck stiffen with surprise before settling into his touch, “Have you been here long?”

“Just long enough to get a bottle of wine,” Sam answers, and Eddie can tell that of them four of them he probably feels the most out of place. “It’s a Chardonnay from Sedona. Great vintage. If you’d like me to pour you some?”

“Thank you,” Eddie answers, wishing he knew what any of that meant, but gratefully offers his glass. Sam reaches across the table to pour, and Buck lifts his glass as well.

A waiter sweeps by and leaves them a breadbasket. Eddie realizes that in his rush to get ready for the date, he hadn’t eaten in hours, and helps himself. He offers to butter some for Buck, but he shakes his head.

Abby chuckles, and there’s something familiar that passes between them, “Not willing to risk it this time Buck?”

He looks between them, sees the flush on Buck’s cheeks. He looks struck, so Eddie tries to change the subject, “You’re not on one of those stupid carb fasts again, are you babe? I told you, you’re perfect.” He reaches down and lets his fingers ghost against Buck’s abdomen over his shirt, “ _ Perfect _ .”

Buck's mouth hangs open at his touch, but he hasn’t shaken the general sense of embarrassment. Eddie wonders if he’s overstepped, but then Abby asks cautiously, “I’m sorry Buck, does he not know?”

“Buck?” he asks, not wanting to allow Abby to control the conversation if this is a direction that Buck is uncomfortable with. He won’t let her speak over him again.

“Funny story actually,” Buck says bashfully, his arm looping around his neck to scratch nervously at the back of his neck. “Abby and I had our first date here. Wasn’t much of a date actually, because she had to perform an emergency tracheotomy on me on the floor over there,” he gestures absently to a place over his shoulder, “Because, like a duck, I can’t be trusted to safely eat bread.”

“A tracheotomy,” Eddie confirms, his voice dropping with concern, “So that’s why you didn’t remember what the food tasted like?” Eddie concludes, his behavior earlier suddenly slotting into place.

“Yeah, I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital before we got the salad course,” he jokes, and he seems lighthearted about the whole thing, but Eddie feels stricken. Just another case of Buck nearly dying for him to think about. “You’ve never noticed the scar?”

Buck volunteers his throat, lifting his chin to expose a pink scar just below his Adam’s apple that Eddie has never seen before. Eddie reaches out, presses his palm to Buck’s pulse point with his thumb to the scar, and feels Buck’s breath hitch against his palm. Buck reaches up to cover his hand, then drops both into his lap with a clear meaning:  _ too much _ .

“Thank you,” Eddie swallows hard, and he looks at Abby across the table, his growing animosity vanishing in a heartbeat. She seems to understand his meaning. “You saved his life.”

Abby shrugs, and Buck inserts himself into the silence, “It’s okay. We’ve squared up now. Sam, how are you feeling? Those crush injuries can be a bitch.”

Eddie hums with understanding, remembering the fire truck incident, and a sarcastic chuckle slips out. Abby sees the sardonic smile on his face, after all Buck has survived, and her confused look travels to Buck, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything this time,” Buck throws his hands up in front of him in defense, and Eddie isn’t sure if he’s defending himself from Eddie or Abby. “Some kid blew up a fire truck and I ended up under it. Totally not my fault.”

“That was you?” Sam gapes, and now Eddie is relishing the embarrassment on Buck’s face. He deserved this one, after all the worry he’d caused him. “That went viral.”

“Well I’m glad you healed up well,” Abby adds, because he must be healed if he can scale a train car. Once again, he chuckles, but Buck cuts him a glare so he resists telling Abby the truth, until she asks, and then it would be reprobate of him not to answer.

“He was so impatient to get back to work that he nearly died again after throwing a clot,” Eddie explains, “And then quit the fire department instead of taking it as a sign that maybe he needed to take the L.”

“That does sound more like Buck,” Abby admits, taking a long sip from her wine glass. “But you’ve recovered now?”

“My bionic leg and I are just fine,” Buck claims, and Eddie watches him smooth his thumb over his kneecap, which he knows pains him sometimes. “And the LAFD took me back, thankfully.” 

“Well I’m certainly thankful,” Sam says, and he smiles warmly. “Without you, I may never have seen my girls again.”

Sam reaches over and puts a hand on Abby’s knee, and she looks at him longingly. Eddie realizes that Sam doesn’t just mean his daughters, but Abby as well, and for just a moment Eddie remembers being underground and wishing for his boys, realizing belatedly that meant both Christopher  _ and _ Buck.

He doesn’t mean to mirror them, but he reaches out and takes Buck’s hand in his lap, running his thumb over his knuckles thankfully. Buck looks at him curiously, obviously wondering if this is for him or just part of the performance. Eddie tries to answer wordlessly, bringing Buck’s knuckles to his lips and kissing them gratefully, before he decides to make his meaning plain “I don’t know what I’d do without my boys.”

“You have kids?” Abby asks, and before Eddie can answer, Buck is pulling out his phone proudly. He shows Abby his lock screen, a picture of Christopher on Eddie’s shoulders, about to drip a melting ice cream cone on his head. Until this moment, Eddie hadn’t realized that Buck had taken the picture, let alone that he looked at it every day.

“His name is Christopher, and he’s my best friend,” Buck tells them happily. “Which, is it weird for a grown man to have a best friend who is nine years old? Probably. But he’s the coolest kid.”

“I thought I was your best friend,” Eddie teases him, but he loves the relationship Buck has with his son. Christopher adores Buck, and he’s glad to see that the love goes both ways.

“Not according to the card I have framed next to my bed you’re not,” Buck preens. “It’s okay. You’re not allowed to be his best friend because you’re his dad. You have to make him eat his vegetables and shit.”

“We both know you’re the one sneaking vegetables into his dinner,” Eddie jokes. “Sometimes you’re a better dad than I am.”

“Only because I’ve learned from watching you with him,” Buck shrugs, and Eddie’s stomach drops when he realizes that this isn’t a performance for Abby and Sam. One day, without him noticing, he had started co-parenting with Buck, and he hadn’t even realized. He glances over to see a knowing look on Buck’s face, and he realizes that Buck  _ did _ .

“The funny thing about meeting someone when you have kids,” Sam says, and he’s speaking directly to Eddie now. “Is that you’re always worried that you’re trusting your kid with the person you date, but you don’t realize that it goes both ways. It’s just as important for your kid to trust the person you’re dating with you too. I’m so glad the girls get along with Abby. Sometimes I think they like her more than they like me.”

“I know the feeling,” Eddie answers, but he’s distracted by what Sam said. While Christopher had been wheedling him about Buck sleeping over, he’d also told him how much he appreciated having Buck around. Sometimes, when Christopher fell asleep during a movie, it was Buck who lifted him in his arms and took him to bed, and Buck who made sure to shape his pancakes into Mickey Mouse in the morning without being asked, and Buck who would tickle Eddie when he was cranky and lighten the mood of the whole house.

How had Eddie never realized before the way Buck filled in the cracks of his life, making him whole again? The awareness must strain his expression, because Buck looks worried, and reaches for him absently. Eddie takes his hand, and pulls him forward, quickly grazing their lips against one another, and it’s casual and light but it also changes so much.

Buck stills against him, and his hand reaches out and flexes against the table. A glass is knocked over, and Eddie isn’t entirely sure it was unintentional, but wine spills onto his lap and he dabs at the spot before it can stain.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” Buck apologizes, grabbing for napkins to dab at Eddie’s pants. “Let me take you to the bathroom so we can clean this up.”

“Sorry about this,” Eddie apologizes across the table, and Sam doesn’t seem to mind, but Abby seems skeptical. It usually does not take two grown men to dry a three-inch patch of white wine, but she doesn’t call them on it.

He leads the way to the bathroom, and Buck reaches for him, spreading his hand against the small of Eddie’s back. Eddie feels a jolt up his spine from the point where Buck’s fingers are smooth against him and he double-times his pace until the door swings shut behind them. Quickly, he checks that the bathroom is empty, and then he begins to apologize, “I’m sorry, was that—”

Buck silences him, pressing him bodily against the marble counter of the double-sinks, his knee slotting between Eddie’s legs and his hand reaching out to guide Eddie to him. When their lips meet, Eddie breathes him in, lets Buck’s hard body press against his, and his hands are moving, searching for guidance. His hand trails down Buck’s spine to his belt, absently trying to untuck Buck’s shirt as Buck moves his mouth from along his jaw to his neck, pushing his collar back to suck at his pulse point.

He has one moment of clarity and shoves Buck away, gently, and is met with confusion and panic as Buck misinterprets his actions as rejection. Eddie can’t find words fast enough, so he brings Buck’s face to his, kisses him again, softly this time. He smoothes a hand over Buck’s back, tucking his shirt back into his belt, then grazing his fingers over Buck’s ass.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to jump you,” Buck murmurs, but he doesn’t seem very apologetic, his arms hanging loosely over Eddie’s shoulders. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be so damn convincing.”

“Neither was I,” Eddie laughs. “I mean I guess it was a little unreasonable for me to think that drunkenly calling myself your boyfriend was a perfectly normal thing for me to do in the name of friendship, huh?”

“It did seem a little unusual,” Buck allows. “But I’ve had the world’s biggest crush on you since we met, so I wasn’t about to turn you down. I assumed we could at least make it through dinner though.”

“And we can’t skip dinner right?” Eddie asks, surprising himself. This was all his idea, but now he’s curious about these new feelings and he wonders about all the skin he hasn’t seen, wonders if there are other scars Buck has never shown him, wants to press his lips to every one until they are truly healed. “I’m sure we could have a babysitter emergency and they’d understand.”

Buck straightens out his collar, cringing at something he sees, and Eddie turns toward the mirror for the first time, seeing the damage Buck has caused. His hair is stuck up in the tracks of Buck’s fingers, his throat is red and ready to bruise. There will be a hickey there before long.

“Hey, grown-ups have to eat dinner before dessert,” Buck promises, and Eddie realizes that Buck is feeding him proverbial vegetables with the promise of  _ later _ . “Come on, the food is probably here by now. I bet it’s good.”

Eddie looks down at his pants and realizes that they had lost the original purpose of this trip to the bathroom. He reaches for a few sheets of paper towel, and wets them, dabbing at the original stain. Buck leans against the wall behind him, watching him in the mirror. He tries to ignore the way Buck is looking at him, but then he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, and his gaze settles on Eddie’s ass.

“You stop that,” he scolds, shaking water off his hands into the sink. “Turn around. Better yet, go back to the table. I’ll be right behind you.”

“That’s sort of what I was thinking, actually,” Buck teases him, but grabs the door and is out before Eddie can answer him. Instead he stands there, stunned for a moment, as his hand stills against the wet spot of his pants. At this point he’s willing to call it a loss. He summons a breath from deep within, settling himself, before following Buck back to the table.

* * *

“I knew I should have gotten the tiramisu,” Buck grumbles beside him, and when Eddie meets his eyes, he can see the obvious question in them. He takes another bite just to spite him, but then scoops a hefty bite onto his fork and holds it out. Buck leans forward to take the bite off the fork with his lips, moaning when the espresso hits his tongue. “Yeah, I definitely should have gotten the tiramisu.”

“Let’s see,” he prompts, nodding his chin toward Buck’s slice of chocolate cheesecake. Buck nudges the plate closer to him, before scooping a bite up on his fork and offering it to him. Eddie takes the cheesecake, holding the fork between his teeth playfully as he tastes it, then reaches out to switch their plates. “Fine, have it your way. I can’t say no to you.”

Buck takes the offered tiramisu and settles in, a warm smile on his face and a flush to his cheeks. Sam clears his throat across the table, and for the first time in a few moments, Eddie remembers they’re not alone.

The worst part is that he knows they’re no longer doing this for the benefit of Buck’s ex. As grateful as he is for what Abby brought to Buck’s life--not least of all for  _ saving  _ Buck’s life--he knows what they have is so much stronger. He doesn’t feel the same burn for revenge, instead looking forward to a different kind of burning that has taken over him.

Buck better hurry up with his tiramisu. Eddie has plans for him.

“Thank you both for dinner,” Eddie tells them gratefully after finishing the last few bites of Buck’s cheesecake. “And Sam, I hope the rest of your recovery goes smoothly. Try not to push yourself too hard.”

He looks at Buck pointedly as he says the last words, getting a laugh from the table, but he reaches out for Buck’s knee to soften his teasing.

“You guys are a really cute couple,” Abby smiles, wistfully. “I always thought Buck deserved to be happy. He’s obviously found that with you, and I’m so glad.”

It’s obvious she’s addressing Eddie, but it’s Buck that responds, “I am. I’m incredibly happy. And I’m glad that you found what you were looking for.”

Sam meets Eddie’s eyes across the table before turning to Abby, “Babe, can you wait for my card? Eddie and I can go get the cars. Give you guys a minute.”

An hour ago, Eddie would have said no. He would have wanted to be at Buck’s side to protect him from the hurt and pain Abby had obviously caused him. Instead, he waits for Buck to give him a confirming nod, before he leans forward to kiss his temple, “I’ll be outside when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Buck answers softly, a smile lingering on his lips. Eddie remembers that in a handful of minutes, those lips will be his to explore, and the promise of doing so gives him leave to go, knowing that the sooner he leaves, the sooner Buck will return to him.

* * *

“So he’s cute,” Abby observes as Eddie glances over his shoulder in his retreat, before following Sam out to the parking lot. “Honestly, when you texted me, I thought you were messing with me.”

“You knew I swung both ways,” Buck tries to make light, covering for the fact that her senses, as usual, were spot on.

“That’s not the part that surprised me,” Abby observes, as always more perceptive than he gave her credit for. “It was just strange that he didn’t come up the last time we talked. Especially the way you look at each other. You  _ light up  _ Buck. I don’t think you ever looked at me like that.”

“I did love you though,” Buck makes sure to tell her, not entirely certain why it feels important. “It’s weird. I spent so much time regretting what happened between us, but now that we’re here, I’m grateful. I don’t think I would be able to appreciate Eddie so much if I hadn’t loved and lost you. So, thank you, I guess.”

Abby reaches across the table and covers his hand with her own, “I think we both ended up with who we were meant to be with. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m glad it brought us here. We both found the families we were looking for.”

A warmth fills him, realizing how right she is. The sense of belonging Abby had given him when they dated was nothing compared to the love and loyalty he felt for Eddie and Christopher. Abby had needed him, sure, but she proved she could live without him. With Eddie, their lives are inextricably tangled, and he shudders to think what he’d do if Eddie left him. Not only would his heart break, it would stop beating altogether. He’s sure of it.

Even thinking of the loss tears at him, and he’s suddenly very aware of the distance between them. He’s grateful when Abby glances at her phone and tells him the guys are outside. He pauses just inside the doors to hug Abby, sensing that they’ve finally found closure. When she’d gotten on that plane, he had an inkling it might be the last time he ever saw her, one he tried to repress. Now, knowing that he’ll never see her again gives him a sense of peace.

“Thank you again for what you did for Sam,” she reminds him. “I know it wasn’t fair, but I just--I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I wasn’t thinking. I was selfish, and I’m sorry. But suffice it to say you didn’t only save one life that night.”

“I understand,” he tells her, and he truly means it as he sees Eddie waiting patiently for him outside. Their eyes meet, and Eddie’s mouth turns upward into an affectionate grin that Buck feels himself matching. “Believe me. I wish you the best Abby, really. I’m glad you found what you were looking for.”

“You too, Buck,” she smiles, leaning up to kiss his cheek in parting, before she steps toward the double doors. Buck reaches out to grab the door, following her out, and then his heart quickens as he realizes what this means. Finally, he and Eddie can be alone. They can be  _ together _ .

Eddie’s gaze asks him if he’s okay, but rather than answer him, he rounds the front of the truck, hopping into the passenger seat before propelling toward Eddie, who catches him with only the faintest hesitation.

He’s quick to recover as Buck’s lips find his--hands molding to his biceps as he angles toward him for better access. The only sound is the noise of the engine idling as emotions pass between them wordlessly, the kiss lingering without escalating further, until they’re interrupted by the honking of another impatient driver that wants their spot at the curb.

Pulling away, fingers still lingering against the smoothness of Eddie’s cheek, already darkening with tomorrow’s stubble, Buck can’t help the way the words tumble out.

“I love you.”

Even as he acknowledges that it’s too soon for those words, he can’t regret them, because looking into Eddie’s smiling face he means each and every one of them. Eddie is silent, so Buck chuckles, noting the warmth of his brown eyes before he asks, “Is that okay?”

“More than,” Eddie answers quietly, before putting the car in gear. Once they’ve left the lot, he reaches across the distance between them to take Buck’s hand, threading their fingers together. “I’m not...I don’t want you to think I don’t feel that way about you. I’m just too scared to say those words out loud.”

“Then don’t,” Buck soothes him, his explanation nearly as good as the real thing. It confirms that he’s not the only one feeling the confusing stir of emotion in his chest, the blooming warmth in his belly. “I’ll be here when you’re ready. You know that.”

“I do,” Eddie answers, bringing Buck’s hand to his lips to kiss the backs of his fingers. “Now I think we should decide what to call this before we get home, because I don’t think they’ll be time for talking once we get there.”

Buck smirks in agreement, twisting their hands and examining the way they tangle together too closely, “Eddie, I don’t care what you call me, as long as I’m yours. I think I’ve been yours for longer than I realized.”

“Personally, I kind of like the novelty of  _ boyfriend _ ,” Eddie teases. “I’ve never had one of those before, so you’d be the first. But I also think of you as my partner. I have for much longer than I’m willing to admit. So what do  _ you _ think?”

“I think we can figure the semantics out later, as long as we know that we’re together. And as long as  _ everyone else _ knows we’re together,” he adds hopefully, unsure of how comfortable Eddie is with other people knowing. Buck has to admit that he’s afraid to tell Christopher--afraid he might let him down if things go south.

“Well Chris is asleep by now, but we can tell him in the morning if you’re up for it,” Eddie answers him with no hesitation. He seems to register the shock on Buck’s face, and offers an explanation, “Listen, I know I can’t use the L-word yet, but Buck, I don’t feel this way very often. And I’ve never felt it like this. Faking it with you back there, when we still thought we were faking--that was easier than the real thing has ever been with anyone else.”

“Really?” Buck flexes his fingers nervously in Eddie’s hand, which only makes him hold tighter in the spaces between.

“ _ Really _ , Buck. All I want is to make you happy. Please, let me try,” Eddie voice is pleading as he turns into his neighborhood off the main drive, and Buck starts to feel the anticipation of having Eddie to himself-- _ all  _ to himself. “Will you?”

“You can start by driving the speed limit,” Buck groans, the truck crawling along while he has Eddie distracted. “I can’t wait to get my hands on you, and self-control isn’t one of my strengths--as you’re well aware.”

“Think you can hold off until I let Carla go?” Eddie laughs, but he lowers his foot, pressing the pedal nearer to the floor to speed up their approach to his house. As he does so, he presses Buck’s palm to his thigh, covering his hand in broad strokes that edge into his groin. “She’ll never let us hear the end of it if you jump me at the door.”

“I’ll try my best, but I make no promises,” Buck teases, fingers tracing over Eddie’s knuckles as he tries to slow his racing heart. “For once, I hope she’s not feeling chatty. As much as I love catching the end of  _ The Bachelor _ with her, I may scream if she isn’t already halfway out the door when we arrive.”

Eddie chuckles, his voice low in his throat as he pulls into the driveway, “Try to hold it together Buck. Five minutes, then you can have your way with me.”

“You’re not helping,” Buck warns him, taking a deep breath to calm himself before hopping out of the truck. He lets Eddie lead the way into the house. He’s delighted to find Carla scrolling through her phone on the couch, her purse on her lap and ready to leave. He’s less excited to see the cat-like grin on her face when she sees them walk in together.

“Eddie Diaz, I knew you had a hot date,” she observes, and they both flush under her gaze. “A little birdie might have mentioned something about a double-date with an ex. Looks like you made it out unscathed?”

“Yeah, Abby and I, we’re good,” Buck explains quickly, knowing the history between Abby and Carla and wondering exactly what she knows. “We’ve both moved on.”

“I can see that,” she smiles, not unkindly, as she scans over the both of them, nearly shaking with potential energy. “You boys have a good night. I’m sure I’ll hear more about it on Monday, but for now, try not to hurt yourselves.”

“What does that mean?” Buck asks dumbly as she grabs her purse and heads for the door.

“You’re a grown man, Buck. Don’t make me explain it to you,” she rolls her eyes, and Buck’s mouth falls open as she lets herself out. They wait to make sure her car starts before they continue.

“I think she figured us out,” Buck jokes, but already the air thickens with promise. He rubs his hand over the back of his neck as they stand in silence, neither of them sure how to begin.

“You want a drink? Beer? Water?” Eddie asks nervously, but it’s enough for Buck to decide what he does want. He closes the space between them, and then he curls his fingers against Eddie’s throat, nudging aside his collar before leaning forward to press his lips to the hollow there. Beneath his kiss, Eddie groans, his hands reaching out to pull Buck in by his belt loops.

“I just want you, Eds,” Buck murmurs, fingering over the buttons of his shirt, wondering how fast he can take it off. “Bedroom?”

“ _ Please _ ,” Eddie shudders, undoing the first few buttons at his throat as he leads the way to his bedroom. Buck does the same, but faster, so that by the time Eddie closes the door behind him, his shirt is open. Eddie wastes no time sliding his hands into the shirt, smoothing his hands over Buck’s sides as he slides the shirt off his shoulders. As he does so, he distracts Buck by mouthing at his throat, sucking hard enough to pull a moan from deep in his gut.

“Fuck, Eddie, you don’t mess around,” he tries to joke, but his breath catches, gasping as Eddie kisses across his collarbones before his teeth find purchase in Buck’s bicep. “Ah!”

“Too hard?” Eddie asks carefully, soothing the spot with his tongue but not withdrawing.

“No, I love your teeth,” he admits, wanting nothing more than their return. “Want your mark on me.”

“I love your arms,” Eddie tells him between kisses. “I’ve never said that before, but I’ve thought it a thousand times. They’re  _ huge _ Buck. You could break me in half.”

“I wouldn’t,” he answers dumbly, distracted as Eddie circles him, teeth grazing his shoulder, the base of his neck.

“I know,” Eddie answers as he completes his circle, kissing his way up Buck’s jaw to nuzzle against his ear. “It’s just one of the many things I love about you. I also love your mouth.”

Eddie captures his lips in a searing kiss, but Buck is distracted by another thought, and as Eddie explores his mouth carefully, methodically--Buck focuses on his shirt, undoing the buttons until his hands find the V of Eddie’s abdomen, and he can feel Eddie’s breath catch against his lips as he realizes what Buck’s doing.

“Do you want me to?” he asks, because there’s no question of what he’s offering as his eyes dart to where Eddie’s dress pants strain to conceal his erection. Eddie can only nod as Buck works his pants open, shoving them to the floor before smoothing his palm over the underside of Eddie’s cock through his briefs. “Since you like my mouth so much, I thought--”

“ _ Yes _ , Buck,” Eddie groans, gripping his shoulder with the suggestion that he get to his knees. “Please, baby. I want you to suck me.”

The words sound filthy falling from his lips, and Buck can’t help but collapse to his knees. Before hooking his fingers in the waistband of Eddie’s briefs, he mouths over the length of him, watching the adoring look on Eddie’s face as he exposes his length inch by inch, mouth sucking the head in before the elastic reaches his balls.

Eddie takes over, shoving Buck’s hands away so he can drop his briefs to the floor and toss them aside, allowing Buck to focus fully on sucking him into his mouth. It’s been a long time since he’d gotten to his knees for someone, but this is so much more than a bathroom hookup. Even as he feels the tears in his eyes, spit gathering at the corners of his mouth as he tastes the salty musk of Eddie’s cock--Eddie is cradling his face in the palm of his hand, watching him closely, his eyes glazed with appreciation and the love he can’t yet name.

He is so in love with this man, so incredibly lost to him, and he wants to please him--suck him like this until he comes down his throat, but he also wants to feel every inch of his toned body on top of him. Eddie must see the longing as Buck grips his thighs, dragging him closer, deeper--doing anything he can to feel Eddie against him.

“Buck, you’re so good for me. I love you like this, but Buck--tell me what _ you  _ need,” Eddie soothes, pulling Buck off his cock and wiping the spit from his mouth with the back of his thumb, before reaching to help him onto his feet. He hesitates before kissing Eddie, unsure of his stance on tasting himself, but then Eddie’s lips graze over his delicately, before sucking his lower lip into his mouth, sucking for a moment before returning to their progression. “Please Buck, let me make you happy.”

“I’m happy just like this, just being near you,” Buck reminds him, hands roaming over the sinew of his arms. “But if I’m being honest, what I really want is for you to fuck me.”

“Do you mean--” Eddie asks, and Buck can see the schematic play out in his head as he tries to scale the learning curve of what it means to give Buck what he wants. “ _ Inside _ you?”

“Not if you’re not comfortable with that,” Buck comforts him, seeing the anxiety that crosses his face. “Plenty of guys don’t have penetrative sex. I can take this at any pace you want, and if we  _ never _ do that, that’s okay too. But I’m letting you know that I’m willing to receive, if that’s something you might want.”

“Is that what you want?” Eddie encourages nervously, but his eyes shine with conviction.

“You inside me?” Buck laughs, guiding Eddie’s hand to his ass, still clothed by more than what seems necessary at this point. He leans in to nip at Eddie’s lips, his nose, his chin, “I’ve been thinking about it all night. Longer, if you want to know the truth.”

“Then I want to, for you,” Eddie answers, but he must see the hesitation on Buck’s face, because he squeezes his ass. “For us. For  _ me _ . But you’ll have to talk me through it, I’ve never--”

“I know,” Buck smiles softly, absently removing his pants and underwear without taking his eyes off of Eddie. “I’m happy to take it slow. I just want you to feel you.”

“I want to feel you too,” Eddie answers softly, his face flushing. It makes Buck smile, seeing the vulnerability there. “How exactly do we…? I mean I think I know the endgame, but I don’t know how we--”

“Eds, are you nervous?” he asks, more playful than he means to sound, and Eddie shoves him. “Eddie, you don’t need to be nervous with me. We’re a team, okay?”

He doesn’t know what he says, but Eddie curls his hands over Buck’s biceps, turning them so that when they topple onto the bed he’s on top. He tucks his head against Buck’s shoulder, kissing over his skin, before whispering, “That’s why this feels different you know? Abby and Shannon, I don't think we were what they were looking for. I think we disappointed them. But Buck, you could never disappoint me. Not like that. We are a team--partners, and god Buck, I just want to make you happy.”

“You do make me happy Eds, so happy. And as much as I love talking about our exes in bed,” Buck’s hips betray him by thrusting upward, trying to move things along. “I think I would be  _ happier _ if this moment was just between us.”

“Just us,” Eddie agrees, and his hands begin to wander. Buck knows he’s unsure of the preparations needed, but it doesn’t stop Eddie from lifting his hips, grabbing his ass in his broad hands. “Now tell me what to do. Help me do this right.”

“Gladly,” Buck answers him, catching his mouth and a quick kiss before reaching across the bed to Eddie’s nightstand. While he’s never been in this drawer before, it seems the logical place to keep what they require. “I hope your condoms haven’t expired. I know it’s been a while,” he teases, earning him a well-deserved smack on his ass as he locates them, “And hopefully you have some kind of lubricant or I’m going to have to get creative.”

“As curious as I am about what that would entail, there should be some in that drawer,” Eddie nudges him, hurrying him along. “But before you get jealous, I need it for my, uh, fleshlight.”

Buck recoils, turning to Eddie with surprise, but with the lube firmly in his grasp. “I can already think of ways to put that to use,” he growls, thinking of thrusting into the tight channel as Eddie takes him from behind. But they can save that for another night. Tonight he just wants to let Eddie fill him until he bursts.

“Do you want me to get myself ready, or do you want to do it for me?” Buck asks, though Eddie’s dark gaze answers for him before he can get the words out. He takes the lube from Buck, prodding him to lie against the pillows and let him work. Buck spreads his legs wide, and Eddie takes a moment to be distracted by the sight, running his thumb up the underside of Buck’s cock, teasing the head, before returning to press just the pad of his thumb to the tight ring of muscle at its base.

“Tell me what you need,” Eddie prompts, his tone stilted as he circles Buck’s hole. “And don’t be shy. This would be a hell of a time to start.”

Buck laughs, even as Eddie’s fingertip slips inside curiously, but he pauses long enough to dissect Buck’s reaction. He brings his finger out again, and waits until Buck admits what he’s feeling, “This should feel weirder shouldn’t it?”

“Because we’ve never done this before?” he asks, swiping his thumb across his hole and pushing lube inside. “I know that we haven’t, but this feels so familiar--so  _ right _ . Like we’ve already done this a thousand times.”

“Well if that’s the case--” Buck bluffs, attempting to swing his leg over Eddie’s shoulder to leave, but instead Eddie catches him by the ankle, propping it on his shoulder as he refocuses his attention. In retribution, he slips his thumb inside, the shortest of his fingers but still enough to make Buck take notice, and he lets out a deep groan that rumples through his chest. “Now we’re in business! Try a finger, please. I don’t know how long I can make this last, Eds. It’s been a long time.”

“I’d like to consider that a challenge, but it’s been a while for me too,” Eddie leans forward, readying his slim index finger at Buck’s entrance, before leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips, discordant with the slick pressure at his hole. “We have the rest of our lives, Buck. Just focus on what feels good right now.”

_ The rest of our lives _ . Even in his haste, Buck doesn’t miss the implication of those words. Those words are better than the  _ I love you _ he still hasn’t heard. Because if being with Eddie feels like  _ this _ ? The rest of their lives won’t be nearly long enough.

Eddie misunderstands the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, and he stills, holding his finger to Buck’s ass without moving further. Under Eddie’s appraisal, Buck brings himself back to the moment, nodding before Eddie slowly opens him up, waiting for him to relax before returning with another finger. He gets to three before Buck begins to hurry him, dragging Eddie’s focus to his face long enough for him to understand his urgency.

“Okay,” answers his pleading expression, setting aside the lube before anchoring himself on the bed between Buck’s legs. “But stop me if I do something wrong. I’ve never--”

“Shh, I know,” Buck interrupts, soothing a hand over Eddie’s side and pulling him closer, feeling the head of Eddie’s cock teasing his hole. “I trust you, Eds. Relax. Don’t worry so much about me. Just let yourself feel good, okay?” After a beat of hesitation, Buck adds, “Besides, I bet you’re a natural.”

Eddie lets out an anxious laugh, but his shoulders loosen as he lines up. Now it’s Buck’s turn to tense up, so long since he’s done this with another person, but Eddie notices his apprehension and trails one broad hand up his chest to cradle his neck, “Stay with me, okay?”

Buck nods, and as Eddie breaches his entrance, he gathers Buck into his arms, silencing his surprise with the strength of his kiss. Buck adjusts beneath him, letting his body relax around the intrusion, before signalling his readiness with the cant of his hips. Eddie takes notice, begins moving out slowly then back in, and Buck is taken by the way Eddie holds his mouth even as he pants from exertion. Buck tosses his arms over Eddie’s shoulders, holding him close as he moves back against Eddie’s thrusts, meeting him with incredible force.

Through the haze of his building orgasm, he can feel Eddie tensing with his own, and he pulls Eddie’s face against his shoulder, gasping as Eddie silences his cries into his skin, easily leaving a mark with his teeth that will last for days. Buck’s cock is trapped between them, and while Eddie slows with his own release, his thrusts become a slow, steady friction against his cock until he’s pleading. Eddie bites him again, this time at the curve where his throat meets his shoulder, and Buck nearly bites through his lip to hold back the shout that escapes as he comes, making a mess of them both.

Eddie laughs as he collapses on top of him, and while his body is large, taking the breath out of his lungs for a moment, Buck wraps his arms around him and holds him there. He drops kisses in Eddie’s hair as they both catch their breath, then another laugh bursts out of Eddie’s chest, taking him by surprise.

“What’s so funny?” he asks as the laugh turns into a gentle rumble against his chest.

“That was incredible, Buck,” Eddie begins, and Buck is taken aback, not understanding what about that is funny. “My dick-addled brain just wonders why we haven’t been doing that the whole time.  _ Three years _ we could have been doing that Buck.”

Buck smiles into his hair, pulling his arms tighter around Eddie’s shoulders to hold him closer, “Who knows, maybe you’d be tired of me already. Think you’ll be bored of me in three years?”

He feels so brave to admit that he’d taken Eddie’s words to heart. He’d been promised forever damn it, and he would fight to have it.

Eddie lifts his head to look at him, gauging how seriously he means to be taken, and while Buck has disguised his feelings with a playful smile, he’s sure his eyes still betray his conviction.

Rather than answer his question, Eddie blinks up at him for a moment, glancing away for just a second as a blush crawls up his neck, before steadying his gaze on Buck’s questioning eyes, crinkled in his confusion, whispering, “Buck, I’m in love with you. I love you.  _ Fuck _ , I do. I love you.”

The words fall like a babbling faucet, and Buck is quick to soothe him, “Eddie, I told you, you don’t have to--”

“I know, I know--but Buck, I  _ do _ ,” Eddie answers him, shifting up to press his lips to his chin and then his mouth. “I love you, and I should tell you because I should have told you a long time ago. I’m sorry it took some possessive urge to protect you from your ex to get it out, but I’m not sorry we ended up here. I’m not sorry we ended up  _ together _ .”

“Me either,” Buck murmurs against his skin before adjusting, ejaculate drying between them and causing the slightest discomfort. “Though maybe we can be  _ together _ in your shower?”

“If you want to be technical,” Eddie teases, but he lifts himself up, kissing Buck quickly before dragging him toward his bathroom. “You might as well get comfortable, because I’m not letting you out of my sight for a good, long while.”

“Promises, promises,” Buck teases, but when Eddie turns back to look at him, the strength of his gaze betrays his seriousness. It’s a promise he means to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> Epilogue I didn't want to write: Christopher negotiates for school night sleepovers, using his dad's new boyfriend as collateral.


End file.
